Posted by: miilee | April 11, 2010

Aman ki Asha MY FOOT!

In school I remember, there was this bully in class who used to make my life hell. She used to pick on me and I tried my best to avoid her; I didn’t like fights and at the young age of 10, I’d taken the ‘Gandhiji’ lesson pretty seriously of not being violent. So even when she smacked me, I’d just retreat and let her get her way.

In the instance that a teacher caught her misbehaving, she’s yell at her and make her shake hands with me or hug. I’d readily hug her and always think that she’d change and see that I wanted to be friends.

This continued for three years. In this time, I grew taller than her, and definitely in much better shape than her plump, lumberous body. The class openly hated her but she refused to change and I continued to hug her each time hoping for a friendship.

Then one day, a close friend caught me by the arms and shook me hard and said, “What’s wrong with you? She treats you like shit and you are the only person in class who can really beat the shit out of her if you want. Why the crap are you HUGGING her??!! Get a life!”

That set me thinking. The next day, when she threw my bag off the desk to make place for herself, I decided to try something I’d never thought of. I stood in front of her, folded my arms and out right ordered her to keep my bag back in place or face what’s coming.

I towered a foot above her and I was pleased to see that she was  intimidated. She still tried to push me over but I shoved her back and made her replace my bag and apologize.

It was a landmark move; she never crossed me again, neither did she keep up her bullying attitude for long after that. The class never liked her but she never troubled anyone after that.

I realized one important thing that day.

By not responding to her shit attitude with a stern hand, I was not being a peaceful person; I was being an ass. When I have the power to stand up to something wrong and I don’t use it but instead HUG the culprit, I am as good as protecting/ allowing her to go on and assuring her that no matter how much of a nuisance she is, she’ll always get hugged from me. the goodness is in standing up to scum like that but not letting the power go to your head.

Now, I look at the Aman Ki Asha campaign by the Times of India and wonder who to catch hold of and shake for being such asses.

I am a peaceful person and I wouldn’t want anything more than I would want world peace. But world peace is not about a campaign where film stars appeal for peace. It is about the wrong doers owning up for their mistakes and taking responsibility and the others helping them by forgiving and moving on. But there is no asking for forgiveness happening here! It is just a foolish attempt of us trying to hug the culprit! I don’t think there is any Aman ki asha (Hope for peace) till Pakistan doesn’t own up and take responsibility for the terrorism that it has spawned. It has become a hub for Extremist Terror groups and it is doing absolutely nothing about it and is instead protecting them. It is all nice and filmy and warm, starry-eyed to talk of Aman Ki Asha but the reality bites. The same news paper tells me every day that there has been a blast in some part of Kashmir or Pak has played some games at the border.. .. (oh well, not the same paper… but the others do)

I think it is high time we put our foot down. There is no question of us extending a hand of friendship till we aren’t sure that they don’t have a dagger up their sleeve. Prove yourself worthy of friendship and trust and then we’ll see about Aman Ki Asha and that’s that!

(Note added later: I did write this post and when I did write it, I meant it. But now, my perspective has changed a little. I still hold that Pakistan has been at fault at a lot of places. However, neither economies can sustain a war now; we’re way too poor. Also, the common people on either side aren’t blood thirsty people. We’re all simple people and we won’t mind a friendlier situation. So no hard feelings anymore against Pakistanis but I wish they took up responsibility for some of their faults so we can get along with the real peace processes.. )



  1. I think keeping peace and standing up depends on d situation.. And about Aman Kia Asha i hope they’d realize it soon that they’re going nowhere.. !!!!!

    • They are not hoping for peace!! It is just trying to milk the topic for all it’s worth and making money by promoting the paper… Teach India happened… do u see any change? or anyone following up the campaign??

  2. think sohaib and Sania’s marriage gonna….help the relations grow more than Aman ki Asha………..

    don’t think Aman ki Asha made anything difference other than bringing the musicians together and selling the tickets……but that could have been done without…..promoting something related to Ind and Pak relations……….

    • hmmm… It is really irritating, they way they are depicting how we, Indians are so hungry for their friendship…. I would love to be friends with Pak, but they need to own up to all the problems they’ve created and stop spawning more trouble…

  3. Good to hear you stood up against the plump…!!! 😀
    I don’t know how to comment on the sensitive “Aman” topic… All I’ve to say is that somehow at least both the countries come to some mid point of discussion…!!! [I know you’re against discussions, but within the present scenario, this is the best I can assume!] 🙂

    • I don’t mind discussions either… but not the filmy crap that TOI is using to show how eager we are to make friends… damn it we’re not!!

  4. Jung and TOI generally are money minded and doing it for there mutual financial benefit

    • yeah, totally! I mean look at the earlier campaign, Teach India. They started it and now no one is following up…. teaching in not one year ka CSR activity… it is a life long commitment….. They’re just looking for promotions…

  5. I loved the way you made your point clear and actually justified it by the small incident of your encounter in life with bully!
    Once I started nodding my head to the first incident, I kept nodding it in affirmation till the end.
    Well done.

    • The entire campaign rubs me the wrong way and since the internet provides such an open forum for expression I thought I might as well express my point… turns out a lot of people agreed with me….. I hope TOI catches the sentiment and stops this bull shit…

  6. makes sense………reminded me of The Story of Caps & Trade [] ……..
    Still, i sometimes wonder abt d solution…i mean..i feel like we should have most of our army troops just go prepared on the border……..& just stand there……on the borderline……just stand…..don’t make a single move…….pakinstan ki solid phat jayegi…….& they might realise …..might……..tht its no use fighting…….its sch a simple logic yaar…… tree is foolish enough to let its branches fight among themselves …….simple!!!
    But again, thts more of a fantasy, than a practical solution!!! 😐

    • see, it is much more than just ‘pakistaan ki phaadna’. I mean, I’d so love to have cordial relations with pakistan. but this is not the way… they HAVE to own up to their crimes…. only once they take responsibility to never let it happen again, is there hope for a unison….

  7. Rightly said…
    But Pak is not the 1st enemy….I would say it is the US which provides Money & weapons &Not to forget China….
    And abt TOI it eqvlnt to a toilet paper…

    • I agree that both the US and China are threats…. but we don’t have such a brainless campaign to make friends with them… and yeah, I think I can find more use for a roll of toilet paper than I could for a TOI…

  8. Any chance on getting you to be a guest author on my blog?

    • Jeez!! That’s generous of you! what is your blog about? I won’t mind writing if it is within my field of knowledge…. And Thanks for dropping by… glad you liked my blog.. 🙂

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