Posted by: miilee | August 20, 2010

Moving On…


“Mom, you’re blocking my view.”

“That’s because you’re not listening to me. Switch off the TV for some time, will you?”

“I already told you Maa…. I don’t wanna talk about any of it. I’m perfectly fine and perfectly irritated cause I can’t see Joey’s face on my TV. Now will you move?” Rene turned on the couch and hollered in the direction of the study, “Dad! Get mom off my back, will you?”

Her father’s house coat clad figure emerged from the Study, an ancient pipe stuck between his shapely lips; the only feature she’d inherited from him. “Marriet, will you leave the child alone?”

Her mother continued sitting before her like a plump hen, a worried frown creasing her fine brow as her gaze darted from daughter to father and back. “Henry, she isn’t a child anymore!”

“Then stop treating her like one! Just leave her alone.”

“But this has to happen someday! If you refuse to talk about it, I will do it.” She turned on Rene, “You really need to get a hold on yourself honey!”

Rene jumped to her feet, “I’ve had enough Mom! I’m fine! I’ve said this a billion times now. Stop being a pest!”

Her father thoughtfully puffed at his pipe then said, “Your mother has a point you know dear. It’s been quite some time now. You really must move on; do something with your life!”

“Like what dad? I have a good job that I’m working at. It’s got good prospects. I could be up for a promotion any time now and…”

“You know that is not what we’re concerned about Rene.” Her mother cut in curtly. “Look,” Her father added hastily, “It’s not like we’re not proud of you sweetheart. We’re both really proud of what a great career you’re making for yourself. It’s just that…..”

“Don’t beat around the bush Henry!” Her mother cut in again, “Rene, we wish you to lead a happy life sweety. And I think it’s time you start looking for someone to share it with, that’s all!”

“That’s All!?” Rene looked incredulously from one parent to the other. “Is that it mom? That’s All? Well, that isn’t a tall order. I’ll just walk up to the corner store and see if a guy is up for sale!”

“That’s not what your mother meant Rene. Stop behaving like a child.”

“Oh cummon dad! You know how busy I am all week! All I get is a Sunday to myself. Can’t I spend that in peace now?”

“Rene, all we’re saying is that you need to start dating darling.”

“I’ll date when I want to dad! And cummon! It’s not like I’m alone or anything. I’ve got you guys!”

Marriet and Henry exchanged worried glances as Rene walked over to the kitchen.  “Besides, Dad there is absolutely no man who could stand any comparison with you. After seeing the best, how do I settle for the second-best?”

“Thanks sweetheart….. I’m touched. But You still have to find yourself someone.”

“Are you trying to say that you guys wanna get rid of me?” Rene stood with her hands on her hips, glaring from one to the other.

“You know that’s not true Rene!” Marriet said, aghast.

“I know mom… I was just messin with you.” Rene said, with an affectionate smile. She glanced down at the bread and butter on the counter and said reflectively, “I’d have offered you guys a bite, but…” and she looked sheepishly at them. Her father laughed but Marriet said, “Even you shouldn’t be having that honey. It’s too much junk food! Why don’t you grab a glass of milk instead?”

“Ok fine!” She walked over to the fridge, poured herself some milk, picked two cookies to go with it and headed back to the TV.

“What!” she snapped when she found them tailing her. “Stop following me around!”

“Rene at least say you’ll give it a thought!”

“Do we really have to do this Dad?”

“Yes”

“Ok..” She turned to them, “Fine… I’ll think about it.”

Both of them beamed at her. “Don’t you two go grinning like that! I said just think, ok!”

“Fine! We’re not saying anything!”

“But tell me seriously! What’s with you guys and this obsession? Can’t a girl live by herself?”

The parents exchanged a look and both came to sit on either side of her.

“You know Rene,” Marriet  began. “When you inscribe R.I.P. on people’s gravestones, it takes more than just that for us to actually be at peace.” A silvery tear ran down her cheek. Rene looked from her to her father. She saw the track of the tear that had disappeared into his beard.

“You know the worst part of having you guys this way?” She asked them, her own eyes welling up. “I can’t hug ghosts…!”

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Responses

  1. Oh! Twist in the Tale! Loved it.

    • thanks…. have started writing short stories again after a long break.. 🙂

  2. Well you have a clean & crisp style of narration. Would like to feature this story in the Studio section of the upcoming issue of Kadzilla’s Lounge.

    If it’s okay with you, please let me know, ‘coz I’ll need your Author Bio (roughly 100 words, in 3rd person, with your blog link) and a pic for the credit footer.

    You can check out some of the existing posts at http://lounge.kadzilla.com to get an idea of the Author credits being given.

    • Jeez! Thanks! I won’t mind! Do include a track back (duh!). And you need me to give you my bio? (That feels so awesome!) How do I give it to you?

      • Ha ha ha! Ok wait! Will send u a mail on Facebook. 5 minutes ok…

  3. WOW! that was some story! the plot was amazing, the story was well told, the characters seemed to be moving and talking, the climax……..totally unexpected!! Nice story!
    Enjoyed it!

    • Thanks Addy… Got back to fiction after a long time.. 🙂

  4. Very Nice twist at the end.

    • Thanks.. 🙂

  5. that was neat!

    • Thanks! Glad you liked it!

  6. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maithili Desai, Maithili Desai. Maithili Desai said: Moving On…: http://wp.me/pDvVG-cu […]

  7. Crisp, very crisp.

    The entire statement about R.I.P came out very well, i thought.

    It is comforting to think, through the story, that parents remain so caring, even when they will be not around in physical form.

    • Thanks Ankit… It is that very parental nature that i wanted to work on…..

  8. Good one.

    Death – parents – presence after death… Becoming a lil’ repetitive, is it not?

    Also, just a small correction – The shorter form of ‘come on’ is c’mon.

    • FINALLY! A critique! Thanks! I hate it when no one can give me some constructive criticism to work on….!
      Actually, I started writing stories again after a long time… I’m taking note; will work on it..
      Thanks again!

  9. brilliant work!!u’ve gt a fan followin ur work nw!!

    • aww..!! Thanks Namesh! I’ll try living up to it….

  10. […] This post was Twitted by Miilee […]

  11. this is my first visit here & I’m mighty impressed. it may sound a little strange but the only part that didn’t work for me were the names if the characters.

    the atmosphere created was perfect and hinted repeatedly towards the climax which made me re-read it.

    I should really start writing short stories again too, inspired I am. keep ’em coming & consider ne subscribed.

    • Hey thanks for stopping by! Glad you liked the story…. Well about the names, I guess it’s perspective… 🙂
      Thanks for reading!

  12. awesomely spectacular!!!!! gr8 work miilee….. this is simply too gud….

    • Thanks a lot! Glad you dropped by to read.. 🙂

      • if u keep writing like this. me and many more I believe will keep comming back here dear.

  13. Areh wah! dis 1 is a lot different from your other posts.. and a lot interesting from start to end.. I like! I like! 😀 😀

    • Thanks Michael…. Started Fiction writing after a long time.. 🙂

  14. a simple incident in the house between parents and daughter. and narrated so beautifully! with such a touching end….liked ur story maithili!

    • Thank you Anand! Glad you liked it…

  15. That was beautiful.. “Our parents may not be with us physically, but they are always there”.. You brought out this thought so beautifully 🙂

  16. Cool….nice write up.

    • Thanks Sailin..! Glad you liked it…. :

  17. Wow, didn’t know that you write short stories as well. The story seems to be very typically Indian, but the way you told it is very interesting and moving. I like it very much!

    • Thanks Chip…. Glad you dropped by to read.. 🙂 Am trying to work on my fiction writing, so all feedback is welcome…..

  18. Hey Miilee! I m spellbound! This is definitely one of the best short-stories i ve read in the recent past! the way you have narrated it- the no-nonesense tone, yet conveying a clear picture of the scene, and the timing of the twist in the tale..amazing! looking fwd to more stories from you! 🙂
    cheers!

    • Thanks so much for dropping by…. Glad you like the story… Have written a post on ly Ladakh trip for my series on my travels (Nomadic Monologues) but after that, I do have another, slightly longer tale… 🙂 So hang on!

  19. Loved it……….you got me!

    • Thanks~!! Glad you liked it.. 🙂

  20. the last line………i am awestruck……..good one

    • Thanks… glad u liked it… 🙂


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