Posted by: miilee | February 14, 2011

Valentines Day, My Foot!

I overheard some guy talking on the phone, probably to his friend about how he is totally clueless about doing ‘something special’ for his girlfriend on the ‘big day’. I pity him. I pity his girlfriend. I pity everyone who needs the crutch of a ‘Day’ created by greeting card companies and flower vendors and diamond merchants to prove their ‘love’ for each other. As far as I am concerned, if anyone so much as offers me a fake red rose, I will instantly lose all respect I ever had for that person.

I don’t think I will talk much about how it is just a day created by those people trying to skin you for your money over intangible mushy feelings and stuff because I think there have been millions of columns, blogs etc written for years about that. If people still prefer to go and spend a bomb on a dinner to ‘prove’ their love, well then they deserve to be robbed.

I’ve tried, in all its futility, to talk sense to couples. They say they are celebrating their love.

Honesty? For one day out of a massive 365? I mean, what sort of self-respecting man/ woman settles for that bad a deal? Love is not something one celebrates by appointment on a fixed day every year; it is something that is a celebration everyday, in all the little things that you do for each other. Small things like taking out the trash, bringing down a box from a shelf for the partner who can’t reach it, helping in cleaning up after dinner, just talking like best friends even if you’ve been together for a 40 years… that is celebrating true love. What’s the point of a fancy candle lit dinner when you don’t even understand that the reason he is not wearing the shoes you gave him is because they give him shoe  sores? What’s the point of a diamond necklace if you don’t know that her neck needs a massage after this month’s deadlines, much more than a necklace?

Is our generation that caught up that we have no time for these small details that one must assign a lifetime to discover? Have our lives become so busy that we now have to assign a day to our love like we assign time slots for everything else in our lives? It worries me sometimes; are we not to see that beautiful thing called ‘true love’ off the cinema screens?  Where two people could be so finely tuned in to each other that they are just two bodies with the same soul….

They say that that sort of ‘love’ is a myth and only seen on TV. Well, I beg to differ. I have seen true love. One rainy day, outside the flooded Grant Road station. I’d seen two really old people so obviously in love with each other that it was almost tangible. I’d written a note about them back then. I’m copy pasting it here:

Just as I was standing outside the station, contemplating my options and cursing everyone and everything, I heard an outbreak of joyous laughter and turned around to see just who was finding this funny. What met my eyes was an old Parsi couple making its way through the water. The old man made an extravagant gesture of showing off his ‘biceps’ to his wife, who dissolved in another fit of laughter, forgetting to hold on to her saaree and squealing as it happily dipped in the water. She then took her husband’s proffered hand, giving up trying to hold her garment and gingerly negotiated a few more steps with her umbrella in the other hand. An unexpectedly strong gust of wind blew over us all and yanked the pretty green umbrella out of her hand and she looked back at her husband who instantly jumped after it. But he was old, after all and wouldn’t have been able to get it as it floated on the water. By this time, I was conscious of the fact that almost all of the people standing near the bridge had their eyes on them.
A student of around a year or two around 16 entered the water after handing his bag to his friend. He moved to the umbrella and reached it much faster than the old man, lifted it, closed it and handed it over to the man. The man tilted his head in a thankful gesture and said something that got an instant glowing smile to the lad’s face. He then returned to his beloved and handed over the umbrella with a flourish. The smile that beamed from the lady’s face could have put the sun to shame and would have had all the big screen beauties sending her envious glances. She took the proffered umbrella the way Juliet must have taken the rose that Romeo had offered her and bowed slightly in return. If there ever was a Kodak moment, this was it. A few of the onlookers smiled, some laughed and someone even whistled. They both looked at us and as the man put an arm around his wife, she buried her face in his shoulder, blushing prettily at all the attention.
Laughing loudly, the man turned to us, waved and started to make his way again with his wife. Several people took pictures of the two, and they slowly retreated away, leaving me to wonder at the romance in them. There was a sort of beauty in the atmosphere after that; smiling faces were all around and all thoughts of lousy BMC promises, complaints, grumpy grumblings and negativity had no place there. There was a beautiful, tangible love in the air, blooming from a couple of septuagenarians enjoying the rains.
I thought of all the friends I had who were ‘in love’ with their partners and wondered how many of them would reach this stage of love. For them, I hope they all will. I don’t doubt what the couple shared was a treasure so rare that I was lucky to have had a glimpse of it. I am also certain that they were aware of this. May God bless them… Actually He already has; with each other…..

They were just a merry couple, coping with the flooded road. That was their day of love; probably like every other day in their lives. I don’t think 14th Feb is anything but another day of the year for them. And that is how I think true love should be.



  1. TOtally agree…it’s just another day!

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Maithili Desai, Bijoy Jacob. Bijoy Jacob said: RT @Miilee: Valentines Day, My Foot! […]

  3. Yeah you are right!! You have penned down the experience so beautifully that you have indeed captured the kodak moment!!


  4. Ha… I somehow remembered tht note d moment I read ‘I beg to differ.’ 🙂
    Besides, its hypocritical, crowded, quality is not good, & its costly on v-day ! :p
    And btw, may god bless me too ! 😉

  5. i dn think valentine’s day is bad at all…although its created by greeting card companies and flower vendors and diamond merchants for their own profits, i think they actually did something good…i really dont think valentine’s day is for us youngsters who still have that insane kind of love in our relationships as much as it is for the couples who have been in love for so long that they dun really take an effort to show it much anymore…if they have one day in the year where they think of all the amazing times they had with the person that they have been married to for so long, i dun think thats that bad a deal after all….

    • Well, you do have wedding anniversaries if you want to pick a date to show your love… the sickening rush to be obliged to prove ones love on Valentines day is crazy! and if a guy forgets about the day, the girl considers it as base treachery! I mean is that all we have in the name of love? a shallow, date tagged, gift presenting phenomena?
      I have been seeing my parents for over 20 years now. They’ve never celebrated this day and they often fight like hell. But the love they share is timeless and enfolds both me and my sister in it… My dad does unexpected things for mom all year round and vice versa…. they don’t wait for the advertisers to declare special offers to celebrate their love…..

  6. I loved this Mili and I truly agree to every word therein…Beutifully written as always!!!

    • Thanks anju… 🙂

  7. As always simply superb..! but i think therz nothing wrong in celebrating Vday..right? even though they have all year to express their love..but its just like a special day fr valentines..! like bdays, anniversaries..

  8. Awsum post…………well written nd very well potrayed………..

    • glad u liked it… 🙂

  9. Lovely tale .. thanks for sharing it again .. though i don,t think its wrong to celebrate V day .. totally a couple’s choice.. unless forced, its all in love 🙂

    • well, to each his own… 🙂

  10. Ditto! for true love, everyday is a valentines day. Everybody thinks of spending money and time for the loved on valentines day..why so? Height of symbolism!
    Wonderful post milee, thanks for sharing 🙂

    • glad u liked it enough to comment.. 🙂

  11. Nice pick and well said ! Presentation is beautiful .

    • Thanks…. 🙂 glad you dropped by….

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