Posted by: miilee | January 5, 2012

Alone…. Not Lonely!!!

Alone and Lonely….. Both terms essentially speak of singularity…. Yet they mean two completely different things.

I’m alone. But that doesn’t mean I’m lonely! Yet somehow, people tend to imply the latter when the former is intended. Alone, isn’t necessarily lonely.

Lonely is sad, its needy. Lonely is waiting for someone to come by and acknowledge. Lonely is not being happy with one’s own self and needing to rely on others.
Alone, on the other hand, can be quite fun! Its not having to wait for another. Alone is knowing not to expect anything from anyone other than one’s own self. Alone is learning independence.

At age 22, almost 23, I’m single. I don’t turn too many heads on the street but (shooting humility in the head as I say this) I’m pretty good looking. So people tend to raise their brows at me when I claim to be single.
And closely followed by that come the irritating assumptions of me being lonely.

Why is being single SUCH an issue?! Hell, I’ve had a guy writing poetry to me about ‘the loneliness in my eyes’….


I said single! Not doomed!!

And I quite like being single! I’m alone!! I’m a solo operator! I like being on my own, calling my own shots and doing things my way! I like being responsible for myself and my fate. I like taking credit for being me and for all that it implies.

I’m not one of those people who’ll adjust to somebody else’s liking! People do tell me that when the right guy comes along, I’ll do anything to be with him…


He hasn’t turned up yet. And till he doesn’t, I’ll continue not believing in his presence and will continue being ass headed about wanting things my way!

And what’s so painfully sad about single people? Why can’t I freely make that choice for life and not have people look at me with that pitiful glance one gives someone who’s trying to put a brave face on sad things…??

Just because I happen to be one of those girls who’s not day dreaming about Prince Charming and waiting for him to traipse into the picture, I get classified as ‘that-poor-lonely-thing’!!

Now let me tell you something, being alone is awesome… I like being in my own company! I AM good company, you know…
I like knowing that I don’t have to wait for anyone to come by and change my life. Even sub consciously. Whatever is there, is in me… If anyone can change my life, that’s me! I am my own Prince Charming! Heck, I don’t want to be the woman behind the successful man! I am the successful woman with no man to overshadow me!

And I do have a ‘happily-ever-after’ dream! It consists of me! A calm, satisfied me, sipping on a cup of tea as I watch a sun set. That’s my happily ever after.
Now, if a dog wants to crawl up at my feet and a guy wants to drag a chair and give me company, they’re welcome to do that as long as they fit into the picture. If not, I’d ask them to go away.

But I won’t let my ‘happily-ever-after’ be a wistful dream that will never come true because a guy didn’t come by!
My happily-ever-after will happen, I’m certain, because I’m not waiting for anyone! And that surety comes only when you are happy with yourself… And I’m glad I have me in my life!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.



  1. Great one. I always felt the same, alone has no comparison to lonely.
    *pops a beer bottle* CHEERS to your post. πŸ™‚

    • Lol!! Thanks Michael!!

  2. To be frank.. its boring.. n its first time i feel like aftr reading most of ur posts bt i like the last 3rd para πŸ™‚

    • That’s ok Sharath… Thanks for reading though…
      Since I’m on my resolution to blog everyday, I’ll be blogging about a lot of things you may not want to read about… That’s the good thing about having a blog and not a newspaper… One can write whatever one wants… πŸ™‚

  3. Have you heard of the chinese saying that tells you that ‘The teacher appears when the student is ready’ ? Well, this post has done just that to me.

    For years I have lived knowing and understanding that being alone is not being lonely and that enjoying your own solitude is not pitiful. The last part of your post though, it made me feel like something in me just woke up.

    Sometimes it’s the little things in life that take up most of the room in your life, even if it’s only a thought that someone will come by and I will be happy then. This post has let me let go off that thought.

    πŸ™‚ Loveliness

    • I think most of us are conditioned to believe that one needs to find one’s ‘other half’… Bullshit!
      The Lord made me one whole person! There is no ‘other half’ walking around somewhere on the other side of the world!
      I am complete in myself… I don’t need anyone to ‘complete me’… A companion would be nice, but I’m not dying because there’s no one walking with me… I’ll run the miles on my own!

  4. Nice post. You are right. You should be happy with yourself first. When someone tells you “when the right guy comes along, you’ll do anything to be with him…” , they should be saying both of you would do anything to be together. Gone are the generations where a woman has to fit her life to a man’s life. You need to fit together. Don’t rush it and in the mean time, watch what you want on tv, go to the movies you want to see, travel to the places you want to experience, spend time with your friends and enjoy the person you are becoming.

    • Hey!! I’m so glad you liked the post!!
      Well, I happen to come from a family of some really strong women (on my mom’s side)
      So I have this hereditary keeda in me of being a little aggressive… πŸ˜€

      But honestly…. I’m not a women’s lib kinda gal… But I seriously don’t understand this social ‘stigma’ of being single carries with it… And not just women!! Even men have to cope with that shit!! One is either committed or a playboy! You fall off of social graces if you’re anything else!!

  5. Nice one!

    • thanks!!

  6. I stumbled upon your blog and I kinda liked it. Don’t mind this but your blog reminds of a sanskrith quote which talks about the personality of an enlightened person who can convert lonely time to alone time and alone time to spiritual-blessed time.. (can’t completely recall the lines of the quote though!)

    • Hey! Glad you liked my blog enough to post a comment! I hope you like the rest of the crap I keep spouting here too! πŸ˜€

  7. I love the pic here more than the post πŸ˜‰
    suitable one you posted ! πŸ™‚

    And the post , i remember a friend giving me a gyaan one night. Anything that gives you happiness even if you can not or do not share it with some one is the true cause to be cherished. Being single teaches you that well and thats a very good lesson. And even if you are waiting and dreaming of your price, who said you need to pause and wait ? live as you want and let him come when he wants πŸ™‚

    • ABSOLUTELY agree!! Whoever gave you that gyaan needs a big hug!!

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